01 - Getting to know me and what my anxiety was like
I think most humans experience anxiety at some point in their life, if not, at least on a semi-frequent basis. It makes sense as it’s a reaction our brain has if there is a perceived threat. We can all agree that we would want a little kick in the pants to flee, fight, or freeze if a lion came running toward us. However, the anxiety I am talking about today is when it shifts from being helpful to causing frequent distress in your life.
Anxiety can show up in a few different ways it can be specific to social situations, school, tests, medical procedures, etc. For some, it can be a very general thing. Meaning that a person moves throughout life frequently experiencing episodes of anxiety.
This may or may not come as a shock. I am someone who has struggled with anxiety off and on throughout my life. Yes, even therapists can experience mental health challenges! For me, my anxiety manifested through needing to be hyper-organized and needing to have a sense of control in my life (control - is a false sense of security). It also showed up as a stressor in my romantic relationships, always fearing I had done something wrong, fearing my partner might leave me for someone else, or they were cheating on me. This led me to act in ways I didn’t like or I would physically be in so much distress it was causing me pain and stomach issues.
So what worked for me? Many things! I believe in taking a more holistic and full-body approach. Also, just because this worked for me does not mean it will for you. I worked with many professionals to get to where I am today.
Therapy! - gosh I love therapy, so much that I became a therapist. It took me a few tries by once I found the right therapist I was able to really make some big shifts. Not going to lie, my therapist is pretty amazing. We used different approaches to address the different ways my anxiety showed up in my life.
Medication and Supplements - Initially, I started on mediation to help make the anxiety feel more manageable as I started my therapeutic work. With support from my psychiatrist, at the time, I eventually shifted off the medication and moved to a full supplement protocol. Now, this is not for everyone and if my psychiatrist felt like I was not ready to go off I would have stayed on. I trusted that my psychiatrist knew what was best for me and held my values in mind around medications and wanting to take a more holistic approach.
Nutritionist/Herbalism - as my anxiety started getting better and I moved away from medications I work closely with a woman who was a nutritionist and herbalist. She helped educate me on the supplements I was taking and how to best utilize them depending on where my anxiety was at. She also supported me in finding and creating tinctures that would help with my anxiety when it was bad. Additionally, she supported me in looking at my diet and creating a better relationship with food and my body
Working out - Within the last 2 years, through the encouragement of my nutritionist, I sought out support from a personal trainer. With the help of an awesome coach, I was able to enjoy working out and learn this is a tool that helps me manage my anxiety.
Bodywork - part of my healing process was chilling the f*ck out but also physically processing some unresolved trauma. I did this by finding a body worker I trusted and felt safe. Additionally, this person was also aware of how to provide trauma-informed care.
Mindfulness - yep, mindfulness… it does help and I was pissed when I figured it out. For about 2-3 years I had so many people telling me to meditate. My response was, “I would rather scoop my eyeballs out with spoons.” Being someone who also has ADHD (with anxiety and ADHD often are miss-diagnosis and can go together) the idea of sitting and thinking of nothing was literally torture for me. But through finding what meditation looks like for me and utilizing the amazing technology that we have at our fingertips I was able to find a version of meditation that didn’t feel like torture.
Prioritizing sleep - This is a non-negotiable for me! I have always been someone who has gone to bed and wakes up early. I need to get 8 hours of sleep if I am going to be a functioning person. Once I prioritized my sleep and no longer cared if people thought I was lame, an old person, or going to turn into a pumpkin. I also started to feel better. Who knew that meeting a basic need would result in a reduction of stress in my life? Well I did, but I didn’t want to miss all the fun I thought I would be having.
Prioritizing relationships that filled my cup - I don’t know if this is something you figure out when you get older, but you only have so much time in a day, week, month, and life! And I was starting to notice that I was giving too much time to those who were not filling up my cup. They were actively dumping it out, then throwing the cup on the ground, and smashing it. I made my social circle smaller, started prioritizing time with friends who filled me with life and I made sure I was giving them the best version of me too.
Asking for help - this might be a given after looking at this list above but getting help from professionals, friends, family, books, podcasts, spirituality, etc. is majorly beneficial. Being able to see that you need guidance or insight from another is a muscle to build and for some, it can feel impossible. Even as I write this blog now, I have sought out support from a life coach to help me with my business as the intersection of anxiety and ADHD was causing me to become stuck and unable to move my business in the direction of my dreams.
I am aware that some of the things that helped me in better managing my anxiety are not accessible to all. Due to my privilege, I was able to afford therapy, a nutritionist, a personal trainer, etc. And during the bulk of my healing process money was tight. Looking back now I am happy that I invested in myself as I no longer need to go to therapy, I only see my nutritionist if I am having a flair-up, and meet with my trainer twice per month.
I share all of this deep and privileged information with you at the start of my blog to illustrate my passion for healing and to outline some of the major topics I plan to talk about in my writing. Major areas of focus you will get from reading my monthly blog will be around Anxiety, Relationship, Self-Care, and your relationship with yourself.