05 - Being Let Down…
Recently I found myself feeling very let down. I thought I had everything prepared, all to find out, nope that’s not how it’s going to work. I move through all sorts of emotions, sadness, anger, frustration, and just downright pissed off! What do we do and how do we move forward from these situations that can just feel crushing at times?
In my own self-reflection of this situation I was able to acknowledge the steps I subconsciously went through that allowed me to move through these feelings quickly. Sidenote, when I say quickly this can vary from situation to situation. Some situations can take a few hours while others can take a few days. This all depends on the severity of the situation.
Here is the step to help yourself move from disappointment to acceptance.
Step 1, we feel the feelings. This part sometimes is very hard for some people and for others it’s easy. The balance here is to not wallow in it and cycle through the emotions over and over. While also, not pushing it away and pretending everything is fine. As the emotions come up ask yourself, “Why do I feel ___?” Be curious about the thought and try to understand why it is there. Some people also like to do some free association journaling to help move through this process. Once you get to that ah-ha place move on to the next feeling. Also, it could be helpful to someone you trust and feel comfortable with. Just make sure you are actually moving through the process and not ruminating. Also, we are looking at all the feelings that come up with gentle curiosity, this is not the time to be critical and judgemental of yourself. If that part keeps coming up in this process ask it kindly to step aside for now.
Step 2, identify what should happen next. Now that you felt all the feelings we now have to figure out what’s next. How do you move forward? Do you need to create a new plan? Maybe it’s something that needs to be delegated out? Whatever it is find how you can move forward and have a new path. If this involves someone else, make sure you also talk to them about it too. Sometimes it’s helpful to have a brainstorming session and bring your two brains together. Sometimes in this creative space, you can find paths you never knew were an option! Lastly, please remember you don’t have to like this new path. If you find a new and better solution, that is great! However, sometimes we have to accept what is. This leads us to the next step.
Step 3, acceptance. The process of acceptance is understanding what’s being offered to you, or not offered, and taking that in as reality. But once again you do not need to be happy with how things shook out. It’s also important to be authentic with your feelings. For myself, it was, “Well this sucks, and here is how we will move forward.” Still to this day, I am not happy with my path forward in this situation, but it is what it is. I accept that the options I previously thought were available to me are not viable, thus I have to accept a less than ideal path forward.
I hope this gives you some guidance and support through what may be a very difficult time.